This evening, as I was doing my normal yahoo perusing, something peculiar struck my eye.
The first thing was the fact that the story was about the Chicago Cubs. I like to consider myself a bit of a Cubs fan, ever since that summer I spent grooming them for the world series on MLB 07: The Show. Also I’m a big fan of disappointment and also bears, so win-win. The Chicago Cubs are rolling in both of those things.
Unfortunately this story was no different. It had bears and also, disappointment.
As it turns out Travis Wood stepped to the plate looking like this:
While that is a super great hair flow young Wood here is rocking, there is something not quite right about this photo. Maybe it’s the score, the Cubs should be losing by a lot more by the bottom of the second. Perhaps it’s the fact that his eyes are closed, you can’t hit the ball if your eyes are closed. Oh, wait. I think it’s probably the fact that THE FREAKING LOGO IS ON HIS HELMET SIDEWAYS. (Also it’s up a little high, but in the great scheme of things that doesn’t seem to be a big problem at this time)
This leads me to ask many questions of Travis Wood:
1. Are you an idiot?
2. Did you not notice something askew about your helmet when you put it on your head?
3. Are you an idiot?
4. Do your teammates hate you so much that they won’t tell you that your helmet looks stupid?
5. Seriously though Travis, are you an idiot?
Granted the Cubs have special embroidered decals that are on their helmets to add ‘more depth and texture than a traditional adhesive’, and pitchers are known to live life on the zany side, that does not excuse this embarrassing event. Travis Wood has many other teammates. All of which probably saw his helmet and thought to themselves, “Hey, his decal looks stupid, I could help….nope. Let’s watch.” And, poor Travis was thrown to the wolves to have his image spread across the world wide web for years to come.
And that is why I’m starting a campaign to become the official uniform fixer of all sporting events. If a”Travis Woods” is about to happen, I’ll be there to rotate that decal. If a hockey jersey is stuck in the back of pants, I will remove it. And if football pads are sticking out of a jersey, you know I’ll be there in a flash.
And next year when the “Official Uniform Fixer Of All Sporting Event” election takes place, remember Vote Amanda!