I’m so glad that 493 years ago Martin Luther wrote his 95 Theses so that I could feel free to eat candy on this day with no guilt. Because of Martin Luther children can dress as whatever creature/human/monster that they wish. Then they can parade door to door and receive delicious treats in which their parents must check to make sure they’re not poisoned oh thank you Martin Luther for the freedom to eat candy all day on October 31. (I hope the sarcasm seeping through this paragraph was felt thoroughly)
But for real 493 years ago Martin Luther made Protestantism a part of the Christian Church and stood up for his beliefs no matter what would happen to him. So that’s pretty awesome. As is this quote:
“I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen. ”
– Martin Luther
In case you couldn’t tell I really just hate Halloween. I don’t get the purpose other than it does give me an excuse to eat candy. But seriously if anyone could give me an answer as to why we wear costumes that would be great. Oh, sidebar, why are all female costumes hooker versions of everything? For example hooker firefighter, hooker cavewomen, hooker police woman? What is this business? Anyway I digress. Halloween is not my favorite holiday and I feel I’ve made that known.
On another note I beat my mother in a pie making contest. Perhaps that makes me as awesome as a 90-year-old woman. Do I care? No. I do not. Here is a picture:
Incredible no? I actually don’t know. I didn’t taste it. But it looks fancy, that’s all I was going for, surface level beauty. Man I’m great at pie!
In conclusion let’s all celebrate this Halloween by watching Luther and eating pie! Oh and lots and lots of candy.