To whom it may concern:
I’ve never been a big sports ‘fanatic’, if you will. I enjoy seeing them live and in person. I also enjoy looking at some of the players (so sue me, I’m a girl, it’s what I do)
Growing up in Kansas City all I had in the departments of sports was Royals baseball and Chiefs football. These are not great franchises (that’s right, I know what that means) when it comes to winning. But nonetheless its what I was given so I was a Royals fan. They lost…a lot. I still cheered for them. (but realistically I cheered for whoever I wanted to become my husband that season) Then soemthing terrible happened, I moved to Nashville, I no longer had the Royals.
This is when I began to have a problem. They have a minor league baseball team, the Nashville Sounds, but no MLB team. What’s a girl to do? Well she tries to find an appropriate substitute and goes to a Nashville Predators hockey game. I didn’t just wander into any regular game. I went to the home opener. People freaking love hockey here (and Vince Gill, but that’s not important). It was loud and overwhelming and magical. I was skeptical about this first NHL experience. I didn’t know who any of the players were and I did not know how the game worked except that the point was to get the puck in the other teams net. I’d been to a hockey game a time or two when the Kansas City Blades existed but I was just a little tike and didn’t really pay attention to anything. As I sat there among these very devoted fans, I discovered the beauty of this game we call hockey. THERE ARE ESSENTIALLY NO RULES!!!! Are. You. KIDDING. Me? You can just shove people into walls or hit them with your stick*, then when you’re done beating people you can just spit on the ice and NO ONE cares. When they announce the other teams line up you shout “SUCKS!” after every name, when the other team scores you shout “YOU SUCK!” In what other social setting is this acceptible? NONE social settings! This was a beautiful, beautiful sport and I was hooked…immediately.
I started doing research and learning the rules and about all the players and what it takes to get sent to the time out box.** I even watched the games on tv….by myself (I never do this…with any sport no matter who is playing). This is where I began to realize I had a problem.
I, Amanda D. Badley, am obsessed with hockey.
I can tell you who each player is, whether they’re Canadian, American, Swiss, Russian, Swedish, or any other nationality. I can quote statistics! I stood in line for an hour to get autographs from Sergei Kostitisyn*** and Nick Spaling***. I almost pooped myself because I got to see them in real life. I saw Jordin Tootoo*** at Opryland and again, almost pooped my pants. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME. I’M OUT OF CONTROL.
I don’t want help with this problem however. I DON’T, so don’t try and hold an intervention, cause I’ll just hockey fight you right there, then hip check you right into the wall and spit, right there on the floor, cause that’s how it’s done in Nashville.
*Since this initial experience I have learned if these actions are done with extreme violence penalties are given. But really you can basically just ram people into things.
**So maybe its really called a penalty box but let’s be realistic, when they’re in it they are in timeout.
***These are names of hockey players, that 3 months ago I would not have cared about nor would I have recognized them.