Little Bunny Foo Foo *Remix*

Dear author of “Little Bunny Foo Foo”,

Not what children should imagine bunnies doing

Real quick question. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? This song is incredibly popular with the youngsters. But it’s also incredibly disturbing. Come on a little journey with me. Let’s do a little exploration of your song.

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest”

Seems nice enough. Bunnys hopping through the forest. what a lovely thought. So pleasant!

“Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head”

EXCUSE ME?? What is Foo Foo doing? Why is he scooping up the mice? Did the mice do something to him/her (is Foo Foo a boy or girl? I’m going boy).  AND WHY IS HE BOPPING THEM ON THE HEAD?? This is not okay.

“Down came the good fairy and she said
‘Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head.'”

Oh good. A fairy. Fairies are pleasant. Surely the bunny will listen to the Fairy if she tells him not to bop the mice right? I would always listen to a fairy.

“I’ll give you three chances,
And if you don’t behave
I’ll turn you into a goon!”

I’m sorry? What?? Do fairies do these types of things? Tinkerbell has never ONCE turned anyone, especially a bunny, into a goon. Also WHAT IS A GOON??

“The next day:
Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest”

Alright. Surely Little Bunny Foo Foo doesn’t want to turn into a goon. He won’t bop the mice this time. I fully believe in this bunny. He will listen to the fairy and stop. Right?

Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head”

NO! Foo Foo! What are you doing?? Didn’t you hear the fairy? She’s going to turn you into a goon!!

“Down came the good fairy and she said
‘Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head.
I’ll give you two more chances,
And if you don’t behave
I’ll turn you into a goon!'”

Oh shoot. That fairy has got her eye on Foo Foo. I hope he’s careful tomorrow and doesn’t scoop up the mice. SURELY he’s not that dumb, right? I mean, bunnies are real good at hidng so they must have common sense.

“The next day:
Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head”

OH NO FOO FOO! I hope that fairy didn’t see you! You’ve only got one chance left if she did.

“Down came the good fairy and she said”

AW shoot. She was watching Foo Foo.

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head.
I’ll give you one more chance,
And if you don’t behave
I’ll turn you into a goon!”

Foo Foo! Don’t mess this up. I think she’s serious about this goon stuff!

“The next day:
Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head”

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! FOO FOO!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????

“Down came the good fairy and she said
‘Little Bunny Foo Foo!
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head.
I gave you three chances
And you didn’t behave
Now you’re a goon! POOF!!’
The moral of the story is:
HARE TODAY, GOON TOMORROW”

You know what Foo Foo? I don’t even feel sorry for you. The fairy gave you 3 chances, I tried to warn you. I’m glad you’ve become a goon. Now maybe no one will be bopping the mice on the head. You’re a terrible bunny. Bunnies are supposed to be nice. You’re the worst bunny in the world. Also, Fairy, what’s with the lame pun? My gosh. Have some respect for yourself. No one thinks that’s funny. The children who sing this song don’t even get the pun. Save yourself some time and be more fairyish and less comedienne. Alright?

Now do you see the problem here sir/madame who wrote this song? What should be a nice happy song about bunnies and fairies turns out to be about a sadist rabbit and a fairy who turns rodents into goons (whatever that is). You’re giving bunnies a bad name and teaching kids its ok to bop people if you go ahead and stop after the 2nd time. The 3rd time is a no-no.

If you don’t mind. I’ve taken some creative liberties and changed the song to fit the needs of the unhealthy/ADD/behavior challenged children of today’s society.

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And [giving them lots of candy]

Down came the good fairy and she said

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And [giving them lots of candy]
I’ll give you three chances,
And if you [keep giving them candy]
I’ll [tell Michelle Obama you’re contributing to the obesity epidemic of rodents in the USA]

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And [giving them lots of candy]

Down came the good fairy and she said

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And [giving them lots of candy]
I’ll give you two more chances,
And if you [keep giving them candy]
I’ll [tell Michelle Obama you’re contributing to the obesity epidemic of rodents in the USA]”

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And [giving them lots of candy]

Down came the good fairy and she said

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And [giving them lots of candy]
I’ll give you one more chance,
And if you [keep giving them candy]
I’ll [tell Michele Obama you’re contributing to the obesity epidemic of rodents in the USA]”

The next day:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And [giving them healthy snacks that fit into the new http://www.choosemyplate.gov/ nutrition pyramid]

Down came the good fairy and she said

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
[I’m glad your making good decisions in your behavior by hopping rather than playing video games and also modeling good snack choices for those around you including the mice. I’ll make sure to mention this to Michelle at our next meeting.]

The moral of the story is:
[Eat healthy snacks and you won’t be the obese person from behind on the news story about obesity]”

Now see isn’t that better? Foo Foo maintains the kind, gentle persona that bunnies have come to be known by. He’s getting his daily cardio workout with all the hopping and making wise food decisions in the end by offering healthy options rather than candy. It’s culturally relevant and teaches children a valuable lesson about health.  I’ll be waiting for my royalty check to come in the mail.

All my best,
Amanda

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4 comments on “Little Bunny Foo Foo *Remix*

  1. Maxim says:

    I say the moral of the story is kill all the bunnies. They are obviously up to no good.

  2. Jon Slater says:

    how about this version of little bunny foo foo by obama? http://youtu.be/bEVM00LAJmQ

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