Amanda Watches Basketball

Tonight’s the big game guys. At least that’s what I’m being told. I don’t follow college basketball. And ever since Gonzaga got knocked out I have not given any thought to this delightful event called March Madness. As much as I’d like to say I’ll be watching the game and as much as I’d like to give my play by play as it goes on, odds are that I’m probably not going to make it all the way through. I don’t care for KU and I don’t really care for Kentucky. But really I’m just not a basketball kind of person. It’s way too easy to score in that game. Where’s the challenge in that? Anyway that was a digression. So just as a precaution, if I don’t make it all the way through, I’m going to go ahead and make a few predictions as to what I think will happen in the game.

  • At some point in the game KU will fall behind. Everyone on facebook will blame this on the referees.
  • Anthony Davis will STILL have a unibrow.
  • KU will be wearing red and blue. Their mascot will still be a mythical bird.
  • Kentucky will be wearing blue. They will still be rednecks.
  • The referees will be wearing vertical stripes in the colors of black and white. One will be curiously round causing me to question his ability to run.
  • The commentators will say things that will annoy me.
  • Everyone on facebook will say Rock Chalk and it will annoy me
  • I will say things that will annoy everyone around me.
  • Someone will get a nosebleed and have a cotton tube stuck up their nostril.
  • There will be numerous fouls.
  • KU fans will think there should be a lot more fouls being called than their already were.
  • Someone will shout in a raucous manner while a Kentucky player is shooting a free throw.
  • I will still not understand what bonus and double bonus means.
  • Someone will fall into the abyss on the edge of the basketball court in New Orleans. (why are the benches recessed like that? super weird)
  • I will not want either team to win. I will be rooting for both to lose.
  • Anthony Davis’s uni will take on a life of its own.
  • Anthony Davis will be angry about his uni and foul a KU player.
  • Kentucky fans will be obnoxious
  • So will KU fans.
  • I will hate them both.
  • I will wish Joe Buck was the announcer. That guy has a big forehead!
  • Someone will win. Maybe Kentucky. Maybe KU. I don’t care.
  • The winning team will celebrate with confetti
  • The losing team will cry with their heads under towels.
  • The winning team’s hometown will riot
  • The losing team’s hometown will also riot
  • I will not riot because I don’t do that

As the game progresses I’ll be sure and cross off what has, in fact, ocurred so you can see how awesome I am at this game. I’m pretty sure it’s all going to happen though. I’m pretty good at things. But in case I don’t end up watching the game could one of you guys let me know how much of this stuff happens. I feel I’m pretty good at predictions. But I’m not so good at not having ADD so I’ll probably only make it through one half before I’ve moved on to hockey.


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