This Is Why I Can’t Have Nice Things

An open letter to the Nashville Predators:

You had such a great season. If there was ever a year that your team could win a Stanley Cup, this was the year. Your team was strong, you were feisty, you had it all. Your GM, David Poile even went out and added a few more pieces to your offense to make your team just that much stronger for cup contention. But little did Poile know, it was all in vain…

Because I was on your side.

Ya…I’d give me that look too Rads.

I should have seen this coming. I’m not allowed to have nice things. I’ve never been on the side of a sports team who was good at what they do. I should have known it was too good to be true when you guys had a winning record and I was rooting for you.

You see, I grew up in Kansas City. I’ve been a Kansas City Royals fan since I can remember. (Sure when I was little tike, I only enjoyed games for the hot dogs, but as time went on, I became a fan for the baseball aspect rather than the tubular meats thing) I don’t know if you know this, but the Royals are terrible. For example, I was born in 1989. Since that year the Royals have registered 0 World Series titles/appearances, 0 Central Division titles, and have been wild cards a grand total of…0 times. I know it seems crazy for me to say that this is my fault, but it is. Hang with me here.

Now initially, I thought my curse was solely based on my direct proximity to the team. I went ahead and proclaimed that this would be the Royals year since I no longer live in Kansas. I even went as far as to say that the Atlanta Braves would just be terrible because of my very presence in the South. And guess what happened. The Braves are great and the Royals, well, they are still terrible. It turns out it has nothing to do with my physical presence. The Royals have won a grand total of 9 games out of the 28 they have played. I don’t know if you guys can do math, but that’s a horrible winning percentage. Apparently, if my heart is for a team they’ll suck. I even thought that maybe if I claimed allegiance to the Braves it would help, but my Braves allegiance wasn’t sincere. My mouth said Braves, but my heart still says Royals. And that’s why the Royals cannot possible succeed until I completely cut my ties from them. I bring bad luck.

I don’t know why I posses this terrible ability, but I do. Every time I voice my opinion on what team I want to proceed to the next round, they’re out. The Panthers, Penguins, Blackhawks and now you guys. I wanted wins from each of these teams, and now they’re out. All of them. If I even think a positive thought about a team, they lose.

And I’m afraid I have brought this same curse to you. I thought maybe the curse didn’t cross over to hockey since you made it out of the first round verse the Red Wings. But no. The day I shelled out the cash for a Craig Smith jersey a dark cloud fell over the Bridgestone Arena, you guys were doomed from that moment. I claimed allegiance to you, and for that I am sorry. You will never, ever win a Stanley Cup no matter how much you, me, and everyone in Nashville wants it. I ruin teams. I apparently carry bad sports karma with me wherever I go. The hockey gods hate me. And for that I am sorry. Because of me, you are cursed to never win Lord Stanley’s Cup. I could pretend to not like you anymore so maybe you’d have a chance at winning, but we all know that wouldn’t work. As long as my heart still says Preds, you will not succeed.

I completely understand if you want to murder me. I would if I were you. But who knows, maybe next year is your year*

I guess for now I’ll just refocus my energy elsewhere. I’m kind of hoping the Capitals make it to the end, so they’ll probably lose tomorrow night.

Until next year,
Amanda aka, A Sports Teams Worst Nightmare.

PS. When all of your Unrestricted Free Agents leave this summer, that one’s on me too. Again, so sorry.

PPS. I was rooting for the Flyers tonight. Guess what happened. Yep. They’re done for the season, headed out to the links for a game of golf tomorrow. Aaaand, it’s all my fault.

PPPS. Yep. I took out the Capitals too. Just as I expected.

*Since I just said that, it definitely won’t be.

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