Amanda here! Or perhaps you know me by my username, adbadley. You probably also know that we have a fantastic relationship. I hear a song on the radio that I particularly enjoy, you are the first person I come to. I hear rumors of a new John Mayer album, you are my number one contact. What? Drake has a new single? Hello iTunes! You have music from A-Z, everything I could ever dream of, it’s right there in your library.
And you even keep my guilty pleasures a secret. No one has to know about that Bon Jovi album I purchased or that time I bought Don’t Stop Believin’ solely to inspire myself to greatness. You don’t tell anyone. And I appreciate that iTunes, I do. We have many secrets. Unfortunately that is where our great relationship ends because you have also been a source of great anger and rage in my life.
Here’s the thing. It’s cool that iPods hold the 57 days worth of music just like you, and it’s super awesome that I can carry all 57 days with me at all times in a tiny little metal box. But you know what’s not neat? When my computer dies and I can no longer sync my iPod to you. You are so very kind as to give me the option of ‘deleting all music’, but I don’t want to do that. Why would you even think I wanted to even consider that? Are you an idiot? I spent years building up my music library so as to have a song to fit every mood and every situation. If I delete all my music and start over how will the people driving next to me know that I’m feeling melancholy if I’m not blasting some Adele?
Sure you’re really great at helping the artists get their money for their music and what not, but why can’t I take the songs that are on my iPod and put them wherever I freaking want? It’s my iTunes account, it’s my iPod, it’s my computer. I should be able to do with them what I want. If I wanted to flush my iPod down the toilet I could, but if I want to sync my iPod with a new computer, no can do. Why do you do this to me? It’s like you want to hurt me.
I have a tendency to break computers and every time that happens, I have to load the songs that I have purchased onto the new computer, delete absolutely everything off of my iPod and then start from scratch. But I can only do that 5 times. Once I’ve broken 5 computer and moved to the 6th one, well I’m just flat out of luck. And what about all of those cd’s that I spent collecting throughout my junior high and high school years? Well I have to reload every single one of them to you on my new computer. I didn’t even buy those songs from you, so why can’t you transfer them, huh? Is it strictly because you want to make my life miserable? Because, let me tell you, it is working.
So I guess what I’m saying here iTunes is:
a. You’re super cool cause you have all the music I could possibly ever want to purchase.
b. It’s also super cool that I can take the music from you and put it on my iPod to allow me to carry an entire music library in my pocket.
c. Despite all your awesome qualities, I sort of hate you.
d. Why can’t I sync my iPod to whatever computer I want?
e. Is this Steve Job’s doing? I heard he was sort of jerk. It has nothing to do with copyrights does it? He probably wanted to make everyone’s life miserable just for his own joy.
f. Even though you suck and I had to delete my iPod and start completely over, I’m still not going to end my relationship with you, because I have attachment issues.
So I guess this is goodbye for now. I’ll be busy for the next 6 weeks reloading all my cd’s onto you. But don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as I hear a new Jason Aldean song on the radio.
I just can’t quit you!