In the last 15 minutes I have discovered that leap day is the greatest day of the year for me. Do you want to know why? Well first go read this: Leap Day: Watch Out Men, The Women Are A-Comin’! Did you read it? Did you? Are you lying? If you answered yes to the last one go back and read it again. Thanks.
Ok. So now that you’ve read that, apparently as long as I’m wearing my red underpants I can propose to Shea Weber. All he can do is say no. If he says no, I get a silk gown and a kiss. Win-win situation right there guys. I either get a hunky husband or I get a gown and a smooch, right on the lips. I’ll take either. (I’d really rather have the Shea Weber though)
Unfortunately Shea Weber has locked himself away in some secret lair here in Nashville, increasing his hockey abilities so I haven’t been able to find him anywhere. But I’ve strapped on my red underpants and have written this lovely proposal email that I plan to send to him:
Dearest Shea Weber,
As you know, it is February 29th. This is leap day. You do have leap day in Canada right? Or should I say ‘eh? I’m never really sure how to talk to you Canadians. Also do you want to explain Boxing Day to me? I’ve looked it up on the Wikipedia and I still don’t get it. Maybe you can use regular words to help me out. But I digress from the real purpose of this letter. I’m writing to propose marriage to you.
I realize that this seems forward, but see on leap day it’s okay for me to do this. Maybe you aren’t aware of the rules. I’m allowed to propose marriage on leap day, and only leap day. So I’m taking my day of the leaping and I choose you! Aren’t you lucky? (you are, in case you were questioning it. I’m very lovely)
I’d like to take this moment to say to you, Shea Michael Weber, will you marry me and be my forever hockey husband? Will you love, honor and provide me with lifetime Predators season tickets? Will you be mine? Will you marry me?
Don’t feel pressured, but I kinda need a response by midnight. So just let me know. Oh, also, if you say no to my proposal you have to kiss me and buy me a silk gown. (silk gowns are pretty hard to come by these days, so it’d probably just be easier for you to marry me)
So anyway, I was thinking a spring wedding. Right after you win the Stanley Cup. We can marry right here in Nashville and honeymoon in your magical homeland, Canada. Sound good? I think so too Shea!!
Well, I look forward to hearing from you within the next 2 hours and 43 minutes!
There it is. My proposal letter. It has been emailed.* Shea Weber has 2 hours and 38 minutes to respond to me. I’ve got my fingers crossed, hoping for a yes! Your move Shea. I’ll be waiting!
*No it hasn’t. I’m not a crazy person**, guys. I didn’t really send this to Shea Weber.
**I might be a crazy person, but I don’t have Shea Weber’s email, that’s why it hasn’t been sent.