Bucket List: The Amanda Edition

A couple of years ago some friends and I went to see the movie The Bucket List. My main reason for going along was that it starred Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Have you ever seen a Morgan Freeman movie? I have. I have seen lots of them. They are always phenomenal, mainly because of his soothing voice. And Jack Nicholson is very popular. I haven’t seen so many of his movies. I’ve seen Mars Attacks!, but I don’t judge him for that one. If I did I would not have gone to see this movie. But I have digressed. I saw the previews for The Bucket List and it looked full of hilarious moments, heartbreak and warm fuzzys all around. So ya. I went with my friends and saw this movie.

If you haven’t seen it, first of all, what’s wrong with you? It’s a great flick. Go get that sucker out of the Redbox, like right now! Second of all it’s about two old guys, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, who are both diagnosed with cancer. Rather than sitting around and feeling sorry for themselves they decide to go out and do all the things they’ve always wanted to do but never have, because, basically they’re dying and have nothing left to lose. Thus, the title of the move, The Bucket List. You know, a list of things to complete before you…kick the bucket. It’s pretty clever. Anyway, I was inspired by this movie. I needed to make a bucket list. I didn’t want to die before I did everything I had ever dreamed of. So I had ever intention of sitting down and doing it right that day. I did not. I still have not. Good thing I haven’t died yet.

So here it is. Amanda’s Bucket List. All real and all things I would like to accomplish. And at least 10% of them are actually attainable.

  1. Hike the Grand Canyon. I feel everyone has this on their list. But I really want to do it. I need a hiking buddy. And a better cardio routine, so I don’t die halfway down.
  2. Purchase an english bulldog. Name him Kevin. Because Kevin is a great name for a bulldog.

    The future Kevin.

  3. See Brad Paisley at the Grand Ole Opry. I live in Nashville now. Obviously this is a must.
  4. See the ocean. How I have made it through almost 23 years of life and never seen the ocean is beyond me.
  5. Find an Eskimo. Ask them to list all the words for snow. Jordin Tootoo, I’m coming for ya!
  6. Invent a crayon eraser. Nothing makes my skin crawl more than small children trying to scratch crayon off of paper. They need erasers.
  7. See a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.
  8. Break my shoulder and have my tendons heal to tightly so I can throw a ball back all the way from the outfield to the catcher at Wrigley Field, Rookie of the Year style. Funky Buttlovin’!

    What happened to this kid? What's he doing now?

  9. Meet Kim Kardashian and ask her why she is so popular. Then tell her that her voice is too squeaky and no one likes it.
  10. Tell Sergei Kostitsyn he’s my favorite Belarusian. (I met him once. I just said “Hi!” and then “Thanks!” when he gave me an autograph. Talk about a missed opportunity.)
  11. Sit on the glass at a Predators game. Very attainable, just have not done it yet.
  12. Find the person who decided women should shave their legs and murder them. This would probably be the last thing I do, as it would imprison me for life.
  13. Ride and/or purchase a segway. If flying cars don’t exist yet, I at least want one of those so I can feel like I’m in The Jetson’s.

    Look how much fun these guys are having!

  14. Meet Mike “the situation” Sorrentino and punch him right in the eye for being such a meat head.
  15. See Sidney Crosby play hockey in real life before he goes and breaks his head for the last time and can never play again.
  16. Go back in time to before twitter or facebook existed and invent them. I would be RICH!
  17. Marry Shea Weber. Um….yep. That’s all I got on that one.
  18. Go to Seattle. Find Tom Hanks on the Space Needle.
  19. Go hop with the kangaroos in Australia.
  20. Pay off my car and student loans. I’m getting there guys! I’ll complete this one! I will.
  21. Meet Tim Tebow, and tell him how much of an incredible human being he really is. For real. I’m sure people tell him all the time, but I still want to. Dude’s incredible.
  22. Touch Shea Weber’s playoff beard.

    Seriously. The thing is bushy!

  23. Have 100 twitter followers. This will never happen for me. Apparently my tweets are just that terrible. Oh well. A girl can dream.
  24. Watch Avatar all the way through…in one sitting. Never been able to do it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
  25. Give birth to a child and name it….Colby Jack. Like the cheese.
  26. And my final bucket list item is meet Alex Ovechkin. Punch him in the face for being a punk all the time. Then ask him why he still lives with his parents. After that we’ll have a good laugh about me punching him in the face and we will become the best of friends.

Sorry Ovi. It's on my bucket list. It has to happen.

That’s all I got for now. Hopefully I don’t kick the bucket anytime soon, because I am nowhere near completing this list of…bucket tasks? (Is that what we call them? It’s what I’m calling them now. TRADEMARKED!)

Hold The Phone! I’m a Girl AND I like Hockey?

Sergei Kostitsyn, you are my favorite Belarusian.

First let me start out by saying, I haven’t always been the biggest sports fan. I would go to the occasional baseball or basketball games, but I didn’t really follow anything closely enough that you could call me a die-hard fan. That is until I discovered hockey.

One taste of hockey and I was hooked. I don’t know if it was the speed at which the game progressed at, or the possibility of Jordin Tootoo punching the poo out of someone, but I got sucked in. Normally in a sports type setting I people watch. I enjoy watching the people around to see how stupid they can actually be. But not at hockey games. I was actually watching the game. I found myself getting angry when someone would walk in front of the action. I made passive aggressive comments about the people who would walk in front of me. I never did this at baseball games. Something weird was happening. I liked this sport, actually I didn’t just like it, I LOVED it.

Ask me any question about the Predators, I can probably answer it. I got sucked into this sport and I did as much possible research as I could. Some might say I’m out of control. I don’t see it that way. I just didn’t want to be ignorant person asking questions about what the round black thing on the ice was. I wanted to know what was happening. I looked up the rules and all the ways you can get penalties. I read statistics on a daily basis. Turns out I have actually become incredibly knowledgeable on the subject. I’m still trying to figure out how this happened to me, but it did and I’m done questioning. I’ve finally found a sport that speaks to me and I love it.

All this being said, I’m afraid with all my talk of marrying Shea Weber or Colin Wilson I’ve given the world the impression that I only enjoy hockey for the looking at of the players. Sure I won’t deny some of the hockey players are attractive, particularly the Europeans and if one proposed to me I would not say no, but that’s not why I watch hockey. I actually LIKE the sport. I don’t spend my money on tickets and jerseys just in hopes that some player will see me in the crowd and want to be my forever love. And I haven’t made a day-glo colored sign proposing to anyone either*. (in fact the girls who make signs and wear pink jerseys concern me. Why are you wasting your money on tickets to something you don’t understand? Well, I know why, but seriously? Do you really think that’s going to work out for you? I don’t)

I recorded the Penguins/Bruins game today. Why did I do this? Because I love Marc Andre Fleury and Milan Lucic? No. While I find both of them to be very talented hockey players, I did it for the sole reason of wanting to watch it, because I enjoy watching hockey. Because I like the sport. And not just the athletes.

It’s weird right? A girl, who likes sports, and NOT just because she finds the players attractive? WHAT?? That’s crazy talk. Girls can’t like hockey. They only like hockey because they think that Sidney Crosby is dreamy and they want to go necking with Claude Giroux.

False. Girls can like hockey. And I do. You can’t stop me. I will wear my jersey to games. (if I was looking for love at a hockey game do you REALLY think I would wear a jersey? The things are not flattering!) I will mock the person behind me who says Paul Goose-Todd came from the Montreal Canadiens and I will scoff at the man next to me who Wikipedias the Kostitsyn brothers**. It’s just going to happen. Sorry, but I’m a girl and I like hockey. And if you’re a man who tries to spit stats that aren’t true, I’m probably going to consider punching you***.

I actually really like the game and I am not just a puck bunny thank you very much!****

 

*Ok. I made one for Brandon Yip in this post, but it was purely for ironic purposes. I threw it away immediately and DID NOT take it to a game.
**Really? The Kostitsyns? They’re only my favs. Don’t Wikipedia them next to me. I will want to punch you. Also Paul GAUSTAD came from the Buffalo Sabres. Moron.
***Hey buddy. Nick Spaling is the player who the Preds are 13-0-1 when he scores. Not Mike Fisher. Come on! Don’t be spitting lies!
****Puck bunny: a young female hockey fan, especially one motivated more by a desire to meet the players than by an interest in hockey. NOT Amanda.

This Time I Suck and It’s All My Fault

To the Nashville Predators:

Hi guys. As you know, you just lost your hockey match against the Los Angeles Kings. It seemed to me that all of you have forgotten how to play hockey. Which is questionable being that it’s your job and all.  You get paid to play hockey but you weren’t playing hockey tonight. But what do I know, I’m no color commentator. Well I am, but only to the people sitting near me. (BTW: Do you guys get paid for the games in which you play terribly? Because that doesn’t seem right) Don’t feel bad though. It wasn’t your guys’ fault you lost. It was mine. All mine.

You see, I have this lucky pair of socks I wear to every game. They’re navy blue and have little embroidered turkeys in them. I don’t know how they became lucky, they just are. I don’t question it. I just accept their powers.

I also have a lucky pair of jeans I wear to every game. They’re worn out in all the right places to make them perfect for jumping up to celebrate goals. They also coordinate perfectly with the navy and gold of your jerseys. I’ve never not worn them to a game. You guys win, when these jeans are worn. They are tried and true. And I always wear a tan pair of converse all-stars with the turkey socks and jeans. They’ve been worn so often to Bridgestone Arena that I’m almost positive the smell of beer and nacho cheese is embedded into the fabric of them.

And the final part of my game day ensemble is my Craig Smith jersey. I put that on with my jeans, socks, and shoes and you guys never lose. Never. As long as that exact clothing combination is worn. It’s my lucky game day outfit and I wear it to every single game. (I’m not crazy you guys. You’re hockey players, you should understand superstitions better than anyone)

But tonight I didn’t wear my lucky ensemble. Any of it. I went to the game straight from work. I was wearing black ballet flats and didn’t remember to bring my lucky shoes to change into because I am an idiot. And because I would have looked like a crazy person if I had worn the turkey socks with the flats I opted out of the turkey socks. I had a very small time frame for getting to the game so I had to change my shirt in the car. For the sake of easiness I opted to go with my Jordin Tootoo tee rather than my Craig Smith jersey. I reasoned this out to myself saying “I’m going to the game Thursday. If I wear the jersey dirty it throws everything off and the Preds lose. I don’t have time for laundry between now and Thursday so I’ll save Smith and go with Toots. It’ll be okay.” I was very wrong.

My jeans weren’t right. My shoes were all wrong and I didn’t wear the socks. And just to top off my bad luck ridden outfit, I also wore my cap. I never wear my cap to the games for fear someone will score a hat trick. I didn’t spend $20 on a hat just so i could throw it to you guys for doing your job. But I wore it tonight like some sort of buffoon.

Suffice it to say, I’ll take the blame for this loss boys. The universe was all a-kilter because of me. I threw off your game because I wore the wrong clothes. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m such a jerk for making you guys lose! I’m really sorry and if the Kostitsyn’s wish to strip me of my “Kostitsyn’s #1 Fan” title I fully understand.

Trust me though. I have learned my lesson and Thursday evening I will be there with my worn in jeans. turkey socks, converse tennies and Craig Smith jersey. I might even have some bells and whistles on just for fun.*

So anyway fellas, this time I suck and it’s all my fault. I’m real sorry about that. Won’t happen again.

*Nope. That would ruin the whole ‘universe balance’ thing again

Sorry Toots. My bad for getting you kicked out of the game. But really you shouldn't have pushed that ref. You know better.

Hockey Confession

To whom it may concern:

I’ve never been a big sports ‘fanatic’, if you will.  I enjoy seeing them live and in person. I also enjoy looking at some of the players (so sue me, I’m a girl, it’s what I do)

Growing up in Kansas City all I had in the departments of sports was Royals baseball and Chiefs football. These are not great franchises (that’s right, I know what that means) when it comes to winning. But nonetheless its what I was given so I was a Royals fan. They lost…a lot. I still cheered for them. (but realistically I cheered for whoever I wanted to become my husband that season) Then soemthing terrible happened, I moved to Nashville, I no longer had the Royals.

This is when I began to have a problem. They have a minor league baseball team, the Nashville Sounds, but no MLB team. What’s a girl to do? Well she tries to find an appropriate substitute and goes to a Nashville Predators hockey game. I didn’t just wander into any regular game. I went to the home opener. People freaking love hockey here (and Vince Gill, but that’s not important). It was loud and overwhelming and magical. I was skeptical about this first NHL experience. I didn’t know who any of the players were and I did not know how the game worked except that the point was to get the puck in the other teams net. I’d been to a hockey game a time or two when the Kansas City Blades existed but I was just a little tike and didn’t really pay attention to anything. As I sat there among these very devoted fans, I discovered the beauty of this game we call hockey. THERE ARE ESSENTIALLY NO RULES!!!! Are. You. KIDDING. Me? You can just shove people into walls or hit them with your stick*, then when you’re done beating people you can just spit on the ice and NO ONE cares.  When they announce the other teams line up you shout “SUCKS!” after every name, when the other team scores you shout “YOU SUCK!” In what other social setting is this acceptible? NONE social settings! This was a beautiful, beautiful sport and I was hooked…immediately.

I started doing research and learning the rules and about all the players and what it takes to get sent to the time out box.** I even watched the games on tv….by myself (I never do this…with any sport no matter who is playing). This is where I began to realize I had a problem.

I, Amanda D. Badley, am obsessed with hockey.

I can tell you who each player is, whether they’re Canadian, American, Swiss, Russian, Swedish, or any other nationality. I can quote statistics! I stood in line for an hour to get autographs from  Sergei Kostitisyn*** and Nick Spaling***. I almost pooped myself because I got to see them in real life. I saw Jordin Tootoo*** at Opryland and again, almost pooped my pants. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME. I’M OUT OF CONTROL.

I don’t want help with this problem however. I DON’T, so don’t try and hold an intervention, cause I’ll just hockey fight you right there, then hip check you right into the wall and spit, right there on the floor, cause that’s how it’s done in Nashville.

Sincerely,

Amanda

*Since this initial experience I have learned if these actions are done with extreme violence penalties are given. But really you can basically just ram people into things.

**So maybe its really called a penalty box but let’s be realistic, when they’re in it they are in timeout.

***These are names of hockey players, that 3 months ago I would not have cared about nor would I have recognized them.