5 More Mysteries in Life

It’s that wonderful time again. It’s time for another edition of things Amanda doesn’t understand. Let’s begin:

Groomed Eye Brows:
Who was the brilliant person who decided that women need to have nice looking, well-groomed eyebrows? Obviously, it had to be a man. Men ruin everything. They take nice things and ruin them. I imagine the conversation went something like this: “Dude! let’s pluck a bald patch in that guys uni while he’s passed out! Ha ha ha. It’ll be freaking hilarious! Ha ha ha…oh dude! That looks pretty cool with two separate eyebrows. He’d make a really hot girl now. Let’s get our girlfriends to pluck their eyebrows!” And that’s how it happened. A bunch of frat guys playing a prank and decided it looked better that way. If they hadn’t done that I could be walking around sporting bushes over my eyes all the time, but instead I have to pluck them. Stupid men.

Feather Hair Extensions:

I try to avoid anything Steven Tyler participates in

I’m probably just not cool enough to pull this look off and that’s why it’s a mystery to me. Are we putting feathers in our hair so we can relate better to the birds. I mean, I like birds as much as the next person, but I don’t want them in my hair. In fact I do my best to try and keep parts of nature out of my hair. What’s next, twig hair extensions, rubbing dirt into it for low lights? Maybe a maple leaf or two added for accent? We’re walking a fine line right now between fashion and being disgusting.

What is she? Is she an Oompa Loompa? Is she a Muppet? Is she a person? Why is she orange? Why does she say ‘Merp’ all the time? That’s not a real word. She must be a Muppet, because some of them don’t say real words. In fact she sort of resembles this one, if she had blonde hair: 

 Ya, I’m pretty sure she’s a Muppet. That mystery is now solved.

The Kardashian’s:
I’m not going to lie, I watch them on tv, but I don’t know why they come on my tv. Other than their father representing OJ Simpson in his trial and Kim doing immoral things I don’t know why we care about them. I wish I did, then I would have a reason for why I watch them all the time. But I don’t have a legitimate reason. I’m a part of the problem, giving them attention for doing absolutely nothing constructive in life.

Chocolate Covered Fruit:


I’m probably alone in this one, but I don’t believe these two foods should mingle together. Fruit should be fruit and chocolate, chocolate. They’re both perfectly delightful on their own, why do we need to mix them and ruin them? I enjoy chocolate by itself, throw in a cherry and I’m over it. And those chocolate oranges, what the heck? Why would you do that? And while we’re on the topic of fruits mixed with other foods, what’s with that pineapple on pizza thing? That’s the worst. Let’s let fruit be fruit, chocolate be chocolate and pizza be pizza. Ok? Thanks.

There we have it. 5 things make zero sense to me at the moment. If anyone would care to explain the benefits and/or reason for the existence of any of the above, feel free. I like to learn new things.