I’d like to be a millionaire. I’m not shy about this. I’ve been waiting almost 23 years for my big break into stardom. And as of now…nada. No one has discovered me in a shopping mall. No one has seen me on the street and offered me a million dollar contract. It’s just not happening like I’ve been lead to believe by many a sitcom. So I’m afraid I’m going to have to take things into my own hands.
Unfortunately I don’t have many skills to offer the world. But the few I do possess are incredible. And I am really good at them.
I rock a super mean cardigan.
I am serious about this. I rock the layered look. In fact it was 75 degrees today in Nashville. I still threw on a cardigan. Why? Well because of a little thing callled fashion. Fashion trumps temperature. I’ll take a heat stroke before I give up my talent for wearing a cardigan.
I can name the nationalities of all the Nashville Predators.
This doesn’t seem like a very useful ability. And I’ll be honest, it has served no purpose for my life thus far. I’ve used to prove people wrong. That’s about it. But Finland and Sweden are not the same place. The world needs to know this.
I’m really good at paper plate crafts.
Need a lion? Done. Fish? No problem. Kite? Absolutely! Mickey Mouse head band? For sure! Give me anything and I’ll make it out of a paper plate. My number one medium for crafts in my classroom at work is paper plates. So ya, I’m pretty good at paper plates.
I know all the lyrics to Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey.
I’m sure this skill will serve me well someday in a karaoke contest. As of now all it provides me with is the ability to annoy those around me, and maybe even lose friends. So that’s nice.
I’m really good at jumping on bandwagons.
Recently the Nashville Predators had a prodigal son moment with the return of Alexander Radulov from the KHL. I had no knowledge about him yet I have welcomed him back with open arms as if he were my long lost lover. I don’t even know if he’s good at hockey. I’ve heard he is, but I don’t know from personal experience. But you know what? I love him, because i have jumped on the A-Rad bandwagon and I’m perfectly happy here.
So if you guys know any talent scouts who are looking for someone who can sing like an angel, wear a fashionable sweater, point them to the nearest Czechoslovakian, and make a paper plate alien all while keeping up with the most popular things of today and abandoning those of yesterday, go ahead and send them my way.
Until then I’ll just be sitting here waiting to be discovered by a stranger from Hollywood. Then I will become a millionaire. Don’t worry, you guys can say you knew me before I was famous, I won’t forget the little people!
- Alexander Radulov To Join Nashville Predators For 2012 NHL Playoffs (sbnation.com)
- New Pizza Box-Paper Plates Invention (buzfairy.com)
- Lead Singer of Journey Denies Allegations That He ‘Stopped Believin” (news4mass.com)
- Paper Plate Basket Tutorial (amerooniedesigns.blogspot.com)