Bucket List: The Amanda Edition

A couple of years ago some friends and I went to see the movie The Bucket List. My main reason for going along was that it starred Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Have you ever seen a Morgan Freeman movie? I have. I have seen lots of them. They are always phenomenal, mainly because of his soothing voice. And Jack Nicholson is very popular. I haven’t seen so many of his movies. I’ve seen Mars Attacks!, but I don’t judge him for that one. If I did I would not have gone to see this movie. But I have digressed. I saw the previews for The Bucket List and it looked full of hilarious moments, heartbreak and warm fuzzys all around. So ya. I went with my friends and saw this movie.

If you haven’t seen it, first of all, what’s wrong with you? It’s a great flick. Go get that sucker out of the Redbox, like right now! Second of all it’s about two old guys, Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, who are both diagnosed with cancer. Rather than sitting around and feeling sorry for themselves they decide to go out and do all the things they’ve always wanted to do but never have, because, basically they’re dying and have nothing left to lose. Thus, the title of the move, The Bucket List. You know, a list of things to complete before you…kick the bucket. It’s pretty clever. Anyway, I was inspired by this movie. I needed to make a bucket list. I didn’t want to die before I did everything I had ever dreamed of. So I had ever intention of sitting down and doing it right that day. I did not. I still have not. Good thing I haven’t died yet.

So here it is. Amanda’s Bucket List. All real and all things I would like to accomplish. And at least 10% of them are actually attainable.

  1. Hike the Grand Canyon. I feel everyone has this on their list. But I really want to do it. I need a hiking buddy. And a better cardio routine, so I don’t die halfway down.
  2. Purchase an english bulldog. Name him Kevin. Because Kevin is a great name for a bulldog.

    The future Kevin.

  3. See Brad Paisley at the Grand Ole Opry. I live in Nashville now. Obviously this is a must.
  4. See the ocean. How I have made it through almost 23 years of life and never seen the ocean is beyond me.
  5. Find an Eskimo. Ask them to list all the words for snow. Jordin Tootoo, I’m coming for ya!
  6. Invent a crayon eraser. Nothing makes my skin crawl more than small children trying to scratch crayon off of paper. They need erasers.
  7. See a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.
  8. Break my shoulder and have my tendons heal to tightly so I can throw a ball back all the way from the outfield to the catcher at Wrigley Field, Rookie of the Year style. Funky Buttlovin’!

    What happened to this kid? What's he doing now?

  9. Meet Kim Kardashian and ask her why she is so popular. Then tell her that her voice is too squeaky and no one likes it.
  10. Tell Sergei Kostitsyn he’s my favorite Belarusian. (I met him once. I just said “Hi!” and then “Thanks!” when he gave me an autograph. Talk about a missed opportunity.)
  11. Sit on the glass at a Predators game. Very attainable, just have not done it yet.
  12. Find the person who decided women should shave their legs and murder them. This would probably be the last thing I do, as it would imprison me for life.
  13. Ride and/or purchase a segway. If flying cars don’t exist yet, I at least want one of those so I can feel like I’m in The Jetson’s.

    Look how much fun these guys are having!

  14. Meet Mike “the situation” Sorrentino and punch him right in the eye for being such a meat head.
  15. See Sidney Crosby play hockey in real life before he goes and breaks his head for the last time and can never play again.
  16. Go back in time to before twitter or facebook existed and invent them. I would be RICH!
  17. Marry Shea Weber. Um….yep. That’s all I got on that one.
  18. Go to Seattle. Find Tom Hanks on the Space Needle.
  19. Go hop with the kangaroos in Australia.
  20. Pay off my car and student loans. I’m getting there guys! I’ll complete this one! I will.
  21. Meet Tim Tebow, and tell him how much of an incredible human being he really is. For real. I’m sure people tell him all the time, but I still want to. Dude’s incredible.
  22. Touch Shea Weber’s playoff beard.

    Seriously. The thing is bushy!

  23. Have 100 twitter followers. This will never happen for me. Apparently my tweets are just that terrible. Oh well. A girl can dream.
  24. Watch Avatar all the way through…in one sitting. Never been able to do it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
  25. Give birth to a child and name it….Colby Jack. Like the cheese.
  26. And my final bucket list item is meet Alex Ovechkin. Punch him in the face for being a punk all the time. Then ask him why he still lives with his parents. After that we’ll have a good laugh about me punching him in the face and we will become the best of friends.

Sorry Ovi. It's on my bucket list. It has to happen.

That’s all I got for now. Hopefully I don’t kick the bucket anytime soon, because I am nowhere near completing this list of…bucket tasks? (Is that what we call them? It’s what I’m calling them now. TRADEMARKED!)

Raise Your Valentine Game to the Next Level with my Simple “Build Your Own Love Letter”

February. The month that everyone spells incorrectly. It’s not Feb-u-ary you guys. Feb-ru-ary. It’s not that hard. Just sound it out. February get the shaft because everyone spells it wrong, but it’s also been shorted when it comes to number of days. While all the rest of the months get 30-31 days, poor old February only gets 28. However this is February’s lucky year. It gets 29 days instead of just 28. (Also let’s take a minute to wish all the leap year babies a Happy Birthday. They only get one every 4 years. They deserve this.)

But despite it’s short stature, February has got a lot going for it in 2012. Black History Month, Groundhog Day, the Super Bowl, Mardi Gras, Ash Wednesday. February really hit the holiday jackpot this year!! It feels like I missing something though. What could it be?

Oh ya. Valentine’s Day. February is the month of love (If you didn’t already please go back and read that sentence as if you were Morgan Freeman)

If you’re anything like me you’re not so great at this Valentine’s day thing. If it doesn’t come in a box with lollipops stuck into it or say something adorable like, ‘You’re Dino-mite, Valentine’ I don’t know how to handle a Valentine.

See. Isn't this adorable?

So to make all of our lives easier I’ve come up with a handy fill-in-the-blank love letter. Don’t stress yourselves out on the candy aisles at Walmart trying to find that perfect puppy card. Just simply personalize the following letter and send it to your Valentine this year.

Dear (name of love interest),

You have the (favorite quality of your love interest). I think of you every time I (time/place you think of your love interest). I would greatly enjoy (activity you’d like to participate in with your love interest) with you. Valentines day is coming up very soon. I think we should get together on February 14, 2012 at (place you’d like to go with you love interest). That way you can become my Valentine. And then we can fall in love. If this sounds like a great plan and you’d love to be my Valentine also please check yes. If this sounds like a terrible idea just check no, but please don’t file a restraining order.

____ YES!!!              ____NO!!

XoXo,
(Your name)

I’ve taken the time to fill out my own love letter as an example, if you need reference to how to fill out yours. I know sometimes expressing true feelings is difficult. I wrote mine to Shea Weber of the Nashville Predators. (Because he’s dreamy and I’d like to be his Valentine. Duh)

Dear Shea Weber of the Nashville Predators,

You have the most beautiful 5 o’clock shadow. I think of you every time I watch a hockey game on the television. I would greatly enjoy holding hands and making googly eyes with you. Valentines day is coming up very soon. I think we should get together on February 14, 2012 at The Hard Rock Cafe in Nashville. That way you can become my Valentine. And then we can fall in love. If this sounds like a great plan and you’d love to be my Valentine also please check yes. If this sounds like a terrible idea please check no, but please don’t file a restraining order.

____ YES!!!              ____NO!!

XoXo,
Amanda

It’s perfect. It gets my true feelings across and gets straight to the point of my desire to be Shea’s valentine. I can’t think of a better way to find true love than through this very phenomenally constructed letter. If you really want to catch your love’s eye glue it onto a doily such as this one. Then it’s a sure thing.

No one can say not to a love letter on a doily

I’ll be honest though. I don’t know the success rate of this letter. I haven’t tried it yet. Luckily I’ve got until the 14th to find my Valentine. So for best results I recommend sending a letter everyday until the 14th.* You can send it to the same person over and over or choose a different person everyday. All 14 people can’t turn you down, right? So get started constructing your love letters guys. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors for love.

See you guys later. I’m off to the post office to send Shea my love letter!

*I actually do not recommend this if you enjoy being a respected member of society and not having 14 restraining orders against you. If you do like restraining orders than by all means, carry on.