[Disclaimer: First of all, I apologize for the title. Sometimes I think I’m more clever than I really am. Secondly I realize the NBA is very popular. Don’t come after me with torches.]
It time that I confess, I don’t get the NBA. It’s all over the TV and internet because apparently some sort of ‘playoff’ scenario is happening right now. A bunch of giant men, trying to win some sort of ring. I don’t know, it seems a little girly to me.
You see once a year, during March Madness, I attempt to understand the world’s fascination with basketball. I last approximately until Gonzaga is knocked out and then I am done. I can’t even last 5 minutes of an NBA game. So ya, I don’t really get it.
But what I do get is:
- The game is played with a ball.
- The ball is more formally known as a basketball
- The point of the game is to get the basketball into the basketball goal.
- On the basketball goal there is a hoop with a net attached.
- The ball goes into the net to score a goal.
- Blake Griffin plays basketball.
- He dunks the basketball a lot.
- 90% of SportCenter’s Top 10 anything related to basketball is some sort of dunk.
- Dunk is a fancy word for jumping up really high and placing the basketball into the hoop forcefully without it ever leaving your hands.
- There was an NBA lockout.
- When the lockout happened Blake Griffin did this.
- Blake Griffin is the only NBA player I care about because of this. Also his dreamy good-looks.
- There’s also a player named Metta World Peace.
- Metta World Peace is a moron because he legally changed his name to Metta World Peace.
- NBA teams, like Metta World Peace have stupid names.
- The stupidest being the Golden State Warriors. That is not even a real state.
- Whichever terribly named team can shoot the orange ball into the hoop the most times wins a stupid, shiny, girly, ring, like this:
That’s it. That’s the NBA in a nutshell.
It’s not that I don’t get how it works, I do. I played basketball for a whole 2 months in the 4th grade. And I probably scored at least once. AND I’ve played NBA Jam a lot on Super Nintendo. So ya, I’m pretty great at knowing basketball.
I just don’t GET it, ya know? No? You don’t know? Because you enjoy the NBA? You don’t think it’s a waste of time? Hmm…well, that’s a weird.
I guess, I hope your team wins a ring?