Hold The Phone! I’m a Girl AND I like Hockey?

Sergei Kostitsyn, you are my favorite Belarusian.

First let me start out by saying, I haven’t always been the biggest sports fan. I would go to the occasional baseball or basketball games, but I didn’t really follow anything closely enough that you could call me a die-hard fan. That is until I discovered hockey.

One taste of hockey and I was hooked. I don’t know if it was the speed at which the game progressed at, or the possibility of Jordin Tootoo punching the poo out of someone, but I got sucked in. Normally in a sports type setting I people watch. I enjoy watching the people around to see how stupid they can actually be. But not at hockey games. I was actually watching the game. I found myself getting angry when someone would walk in front of the action. I made passive aggressive comments about the people who would walk in front of me. I never did this at baseball games. Something weird was happening. I liked this sport, actually I didn’t just like it, I LOVED it.

Ask me any question about the Predators, I can probably answer it. I got sucked into this sport and I did as much possible research as I could. Some might say I’m out of control. I don’t see it that way. I just didn’t want to be ignorant person asking questions about what the round black thing on the ice was. I wanted to know what was happening. I looked up the rules and all the ways you can get penalties. I read statistics on a daily basis. Turns out I have actually become incredibly knowledgeable on the subject. I’m still trying to figure out how this happened to me, but it did and I’m done questioning. I’ve finally found a sport that speaks to me and I love it.

All this being said, I’m afraid with all my talk of marrying Shea Weber or Colin Wilson I’ve given the world the impression that I only enjoy hockey for the looking at of the players. Sure I won’t deny some of the hockey players are attractive, particularly the Europeans and if one proposed to me I would not say no, but that’s not why I watch hockey. I actually LIKE the sport. I don’t spend my money on tickets and jerseys just in hopes that some player will see me in the crowd and want to be my forever love. And I haven’t made a day-glo colored sign proposing to anyone either*. (in fact the girls who make signs and wear pink jerseys concern me. Why are you wasting your money on tickets to something you don’t understand? Well, I know why, but seriously? Do you really think that’s going to work out for you? I don’t)

I recorded the Penguins/Bruins game today. Why did I do this? Because I love Marc Andre Fleury and Milan Lucic? No. While I find both of them to be very talented hockey players, I did it for the sole reason of wanting to watch it, because I enjoy watching hockey. Because I like the sport. And not just the athletes.

It’s weird right? A girl, who likes sports, and NOT just because she finds the players attractive? WHAT?? That’s crazy talk. Girls can’t like hockey. They only like hockey because they think that Sidney Crosby is dreamy and they want to go necking with Claude Giroux.

False. Girls can like hockey. And I do. You can’t stop me. I will wear my jersey to games. (if I was looking for love at a hockey game do you REALLY think I would wear a jersey? The things are not flattering!) I will mock the person behind me who says Paul Goose-Todd came from the Montreal Canadiens and I will scoff at the man next to me who Wikipedias the Kostitsyn brothers**. It’s just going to happen. Sorry, but I’m a girl and I like hockey. And if you’re a man who tries to spit stats that aren’t true, I’m probably going to consider punching you***.

I actually really like the game and I am not just a puck bunny thank you very much!****

 

*Ok. I made one for Brandon Yip in this post, but it was purely for ironic purposes. I threw it away immediately and DID NOT take it to a game.
**Really? The Kostitsyns? They’re only my favs. Don’t Wikipedia them next to me. I will want to punch you. Also Paul GAUSTAD came from the Buffalo Sabres. Moron.
***Hey buddy. Nick Spaling is the player who the Preds are 13-0-1 when he scores. Not Mike Fisher. Come on! Don’t be spitting lies!
****Puck bunny: a young female hockey fan, especially one motivated more by a desire to meet the players than by an interest in hockey. NOT Amanda.

Hockey Confession

To whom it may concern:

I’ve never been a big sports ‘fanatic’, if you will.  I enjoy seeing them live and in person. I also enjoy looking at some of the players (so sue me, I’m a girl, it’s what I do)

Growing up in Kansas City all I had in the departments of sports was Royals baseball and Chiefs football. These are not great franchises (that’s right, I know what that means) when it comes to winning. But nonetheless its what I was given so I was a Royals fan. They lost…a lot. I still cheered for them. (but realistically I cheered for whoever I wanted to become my husband that season) Then soemthing terrible happened, I moved to Nashville, I no longer had the Royals.

This is when I began to have a problem. They have a minor league baseball team, the Nashville Sounds, but no MLB team. What’s a girl to do? Well she tries to find an appropriate substitute and goes to a Nashville Predators hockey game. I didn’t just wander into any regular game. I went to the home opener. People freaking love hockey here (and Vince Gill, but that’s not important). It was loud and overwhelming and magical. I was skeptical about this first NHL experience. I didn’t know who any of the players were and I did not know how the game worked except that the point was to get the puck in the other teams net. I’d been to a hockey game a time or two when the Kansas City Blades existed but I was just a little tike and didn’t really pay attention to anything. As I sat there among these very devoted fans, I discovered the beauty of this game we call hockey. THERE ARE ESSENTIALLY NO RULES!!!! Are. You. KIDDING. Me? You can just shove people into walls or hit them with your stick*, then when you’re done beating people you can just spit on the ice and NO ONE cares.  When they announce the other teams line up you shout “SUCKS!” after every name, when the other team scores you shout “YOU SUCK!” In what other social setting is this acceptible? NONE social settings! This was a beautiful, beautiful sport and I was hooked…immediately.

I started doing research and learning the rules and about all the players and what it takes to get sent to the time out box.** I even watched the games on tv….by myself (I never do this…with any sport no matter who is playing). This is where I began to realize I had a problem.

I, Amanda D. Badley, am obsessed with hockey.

I can tell you who each player is, whether they’re Canadian, American, Swiss, Russian, Swedish, or any other nationality. I can quote statistics! I stood in line for an hour to get autographs from  Sergei Kostitisyn*** and Nick Spaling***. I almost pooped myself because I got to see them in real life. I saw Jordin Tootoo*** at Opryland and again, almost pooped my pants. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME. I’M OUT OF CONTROL.

I don’t want help with this problem however. I DON’T, so don’t try and hold an intervention, cause I’ll just hockey fight you right there, then hip check you right into the wall and spit, right there on the floor, cause that’s how it’s done in Nashville.

Sincerely,

Amanda

*Since this initial experience I have learned if these actions are done with extreme violence penalties are given. But really you can basically just ram people into things.

**So maybe its really called a penalty box but let’s be realistic, when they’re in it they are in timeout.

***These are names of hockey players, that 3 months ago I would not have cared about nor would I have recognized them.