It’s been a hot minute since I’ve felt an urge to write. And truth be told this began as a Facebook post that started to get a little wordy because as it turns out I had a lot weighing on my chest.
Can we stop saying everything happens for a reason?
I grew up going to church, I went to college for a ministry degree and was constantly hearing things like “everything happens for a reason”, “God won’t give you more than you can handle”, “God only gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers”, “you may not see it now, but there’s a reason you’re going through this.” I’m so sick of hearing it.
Stop it. It doesn’t. There isn’t a reason for everything. We don’t have to give justification to the crap in life. This world is just full of shitty (pardon my French) things and moments that can’t be explained or reasoned.
Reason out for me all the recent mass shootings of innocent people who had so much life left to live. Reason out for me children dying before they’re even given a chance at life. Reason out for me cancer. You can’t do it. There isn’t a reason. There’s not a reason for people’s suffering. You can’t justify why people have to go through pain. You can’t tell people they can’t feel angry or hurt or sad because whatever they’re going through has “a reason”. You can’t tell them God knew they could handle it so that’s why it’s happening.
Stop it. Stop making people feel like they have to be okay with what they’re going through because “it’s God’s will”.
That’s not to say you can’t learn through experiences and trials. I’m not saying you can’t use something bad as a foundation to help others or to change yourself. I can think of times someone took something awful and turned it around for good. But those are not reasons for the pain. That’s making lemons into lemonade. That’s making the best of a bad situation. That’s rising like a Phoenix from the ashes. That’s not everything happening for a reason.
Stop it. God doesn’t “give” people bad things to make them stronger and everything doesn’t happen for a reason. Just stop.